1.         BE PREPARED

We all know a fantastically irritating, super-efficient person. The person who packs to go on holiday weeks before the departure date, the one whose children never wear odd socks, with everything so organised it’s spooky. Well, for at least a month before the move you have to pretend you are that person. If it means talking to yourself and a bit of New Age visualisation so be it. You have to think of all the mind-blowingly dull but sensible things they would do and then do them yourself. It’s quite easy, just make sure it doesn’t become a habit though - you don’t want to lose your friends.

2.         DITCH THE JUNK

As it is illegal to lock your children in a cupboard, arrange for them to play with friends on the day before you move. Then gather every single toy in the house from the tiniest Barbie shoe to the largest Action Man truck and all the broken pieces in between into one room. Remain calm, resist the urge to tear out your hair in despair at the assembled broken, unloved representation of your hard-earned cash. Do all the puzzles, make all the sets, find out which ones are broken and are missing pieces, put it all back together and mend the boxes with sellotape. When you have done this pack anything that is complete and dispose of the rest in the bin, in a pile for the jumble, whatever is appropriate. You will feel two stone lighter, believe me, and the children will appreciate the organised toys and forget the broken ones they never played with anyway.

3.         CALL IN ALL FAVOURS

If anybody offers help whatever you do, don’t say. “Oh, no, we’ll manage, thanks.” Practise saying “Thank you, that would be fantastic.”

4.         LABELLING

This needs a will of iron. Don’t bung any old collection of things into a box together. Label each box with the name of the room it should be delivered to and a description of what is inside. You think you’ll remember where you’ve put something, but I promise you won’t.

5.         CHILDRENS’ ROOMS

Make these a priority. Put everything from their rooms into boxes, including sheets and pillows. That way you can unpack their rooms first, and get them into bed at the other end as soon as possible. They also need to know that although there are some big changes afoot, at least they have their room and all their favourite things.

6.         KEEP WELL WISHERS AT BAY

Only allow helpful people in the new abode for the first few days. There’s nothing more frustrating than having to drink tea with someone when you’re longing to get going with the unpacking.

7.         FOOD

On the day of the move, ensure there is a healthy supply of chocolate biscuits on hand at all times. Copious cups of tea are essential and unless you are moving to a house at the end of a five-mile track order a takeaway for tea.

8.         CHILDREN MANAGEMENT

Do not shout at the children when they break your favourite vase, as they are only trying to help. It’s not their fault you’re moving.

9.         PARTNER MANAGEMENT

Try not to discuss money with your partner at any time during the weeks leading up to the move or for a few weeks after it. The whole process of moving is so expensive and stressful that any mention of money is guaranteed to spark off a massive row.

10.       KEEP POSITIVE

Boost the family’s confidence by remaining steadfastly positive about everything in the new home and surrounding area. If you suddenly notice that you can hear the M1 from your kitchen with the windows shut, or that the boiler appears to be broken don’t say a word, or if you do, try to sound upbeat about it. Tricky, I know.

Good Luck!

Clare Kent writes from recent experience – read about her move in ‘Life in the Slow Lane’.