A BIG STEP FORWARD

Welcome to another episode of my diary – there are previous episodes on the site for you to read to find out more about the background to my diary.

This week I have had some really positive moves forward with my son Noah who has ADHD. One of the conditions, which can run alongside ADHD, is Anxiety Disorder; Noah is taking Ritalin for ADHD and this can also lead to anxiety. Whatever the cause – Noah can become anxious about the least thing – if we have to do something different outside of his normal routine he becomes anxious and oppositional (Oppositional Defiant Disorder – now that’s another subject!). We always have to warn him well in advance of any pending changes – of course this is not always practical and sometimes causes problems.

When Noah comes in from school he always likes to stick to the same routine (I won’t bore you with the minutiae) – suffice it to say that evenings usually run like clock-work in our house! Unless…we have a change of routine. We just don’t ‘go there’ without a really good reason (or poor planning on my part which, I’ll be honest, happens a little more than I would like!).

So, you can imagine my amazement when Noah announced that he was going to join the local football club that night after school. The fact that he had to have a trial and wait to be selected didn’t come into it. Oh no – he was joining and that was that. You may be wondering why I was so amazed: it wasn’t just the Joining-the-Football-Club bit that knocked me sideways – the small detail that he was going to a friend’s house for tea first was the one!

I should explain – Noah is hardly ever invited ANYWHERE. If he is, he usually says I won’t let him go (!) or that he’s sorry but his pet wildebeest needs grooming or some such convincingly off-putting excuse. On the rare occasion that he agrees to go he usually changes his mind as we are about to leave. You get the picture?

Well after I had carefully removed the inane grin from my face, I faked (very convincingly I thought) a rather dismissive air and enquired as casually as I could in a rather tight voice if he would like me to pick him up after the game.

“Okay – but stay in the car, unless you get changed into something sporty.”

“Sporty?” I enquired as disinterestedly as I could.

“Yeah, you know, like Gaza’s mum.”

I should explain – Gaza’s mum looks about 23, would give Britney Spears a run for her money, with a (£2,000 per year subscription) gym-toned body, and always looks sporty (in a designer got-the-kit-but-never-played-the-game sort of way).

The tension mounted as we approached the front door…. YES! - he got in the car and we chatted casually about goodness knows what in my frantic attempts to keep his mind off sabotaging this first great step forward. I dutifully laid low (literally), banished to the car, and wore my baseball cap (look out Gaza’s mum!!). And…HE’S GOING AGAIN NEXT WEEK.

Fantastic – this is such a step forward for him and for us; if you don’t have an ADHD child you might take this sort of thing for granted - you don’t realise how lucky you are!

I’m off to buy some Sporty Kit!

Until next time,

Jan

Jan Assheton RGN RSCN is an Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) Coach and Learning Mentor and the mother of a child with ADHD. She will be sharing the benefits of her personal and professional experience every two weeks.