CHALLENGING SCHOOLS

Part of my role as an ADHD Coach is to work on aspects of children’s self-esteem, confidence and social skills. I also offer to go into schools to train staff in their support of ADHD children. Very often the offer is declined and the misery and misunderstandings go on. These children grow up with a low self-esteem, which has huge implications for our Criminal Justice System. I do not exaggerate – I work with the system and see the outcome of this emotional damage on a regular basis: bright, intelligent kids who have ‘failed’ at school because no one knew what their difficulties were or how to support them. Well now they do but they often won’t or can’t put the support strategies into place. Some teachers refuse to accept the existence of ADHD and continue to ridicule, put down and humiliate our children on a daily basis. I as a Coach refuse to tolerate such archaic attitudes and regularly feel frustrated and angry with teachers.

For example: One of my coaching clients – a ten year-old called Lucie has been having rather a tough time at school. The (independent) school churns out ‘nice young ladies’ on a regular basis but somehow cannot manage to find room to understand that some children are different and fortunately just will not fit into their perfect little moulds. Lucie is one of those children – she has ADHD and some learning difficulties but is talented in areas other than academia

She is a gifted dancer, has a remarkable level of emotional intelligence and can impersonate for England! During a recent class, Lucie was asked to read a piece out aloud – her dyslexia got in the way as it often does at these times and Lucie stumbled and floundered her way through the piece until the enlightened teacher put her out of her misery by exclaiming “As you are understandably THICK Lucie, I think we should stop there don’t you?” The small class of 12 sat in stunned silence as the crushed child stumbled back to her seat.

Lucie’s mother and I sat with her and her friend Charlotte whilst they explained in graphic detail what had happened. Facial expressions, body language and non-verbal communications all played a part in the re-enactment of this sorry tale and by the end we felt there was no doubting the validity of Lucie’s story.

Lucie’s mother and I will be going into school this week to meet with the teacher in question and the Head – I will be asking for her side of the story and then a full apology to Lucie in front of the class if this is what Lucie wants. Mum is considering removing Lucie from the school and I must admit that the culture is such that I would support her in this. I suspect I already know what will be said at the meeting but am a strong advocate for children and their parents for ADHD – I’ve had years of practice!!!

I deal with situations like this all the time – sure these children are challenging but there is no excuse for ignorance and emotional crushing but I’m afraid to say that this is going on every day in our schools. It is devastating for me to learn of such assaults on children’s sense of self-worth after all our hard work.

Many teachers either don’t care, or do care but merely pay lip service to all the supports that should be put into place for ADHD kids. The ones that are ADHD-friendly are few and far between, and all the while our children are growing up with the message that they are BAD or NAUGHTY or DIFFERENT or THICK. Schools have a huge part to play in the support of our children and I’m sorry to say that at the moment the majority are failing miserably.

Well, I’ll get off my Coaching Soapbox now – I would be really interested to have some feedback on what is written in my diaries - it gets quite lonely in here! Do get in touch and let me know what you think.

Until next time,

Jan

Jan Assheton RGN RSCN is an Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) Coach and Learning Mentor and the mother of a child with ADHD. She will be sharing the benefits of her personal and professional experience every two weeks.