By Dr. Catherine Gant

In the last generation it was considered normal for babies to be dry by day at 2 years and at night by 2 ½ years. Babies as young as 9 months were put onto potties after feeds to catch their poo. This has become much more relaxed with the use of disposable nappies.

It is pointless to think about potty training until your child is old enough to know when they are passing urine orng their bowels. The neuronal pathway that allows a sleeping child to know consciously that it needs to empty its bladder matures at different rates in different children. A child who is otherwise advanced may not be able to sense this and it is pointless trying to potty train them until they are ready.

AGE 1 YEAR

Talk to your child about when they are doing a poo, it is usually obvious and encourage them to start telling you. If they do pass urine when naked, try and catch it in a potty, make it a fun game. Talk about older children and adults using a potty or loo, but always in a fun, non-threatening way.

AGE 2 YEARS

Some children will be ready to start using the potty by day, encourage them to tell you when they are about to go and hurry them to the potty. Pull-up nappies are good at this time as it doesn’t matter if you get there too late. Any successes, however small, should be greeted with hugs and praise. Any failures should be dismissed lightly. Say well done for trying but never put the child under pressure. If they really can’t manage it or show any signs of distress about it, leave it for a few weeks. If you do have a success go over the top, call daddy at work or tell the grandparents (suitably primed to be thrilled of course).

Once your child can go regularly to the potty you can swap to pants, but expect a few accidents. In these early days don’t rely on them to tell you they need to go to the loo. Children often leave it too late to find the local toilets, so take them frequently  – as you leave home, when you arrive at the shops, before you leave to come home etc.

If your child has a nap in the day pop a nappy on until they have had several naps and woken up with dry nappies. Again lots of praise is needed to encourage them to use a toilet, and to make them think that it is worthwhile. All children love lots of positive attention from their parents and will try to please.

When accidents occur be very relaxed about it and never cross. Don’t put yourself under pressure, if you are going on a long journey or to a new place with unknown toilet facilities then take a potty or pop a nappy back on.

Don’t pressurise them or compare them to more advanced friends, if you make them feel a failure they will remember and shy away from trying again.

NIGHT TIME

Bed-wetting at night is called nocturnal enuresis.

Most children can be dry at night at 3 years BUT

will wet the bed at night occasionally.

For advice on stopping bed-wetting, and getting children out of nappies at night, read our section on bedwetting.

STAR CHARTS

If you are having increasing accidents during the day, a star chart can be very effective. Take a large colourful piece of paper and with your child divide it up into big squares with days of the week along the top and a big grid for 3 – 4 weeks underneath. Explain it to your child – draw a sad face or a picture of a rain cloud when you have an accident or a wet bed, and a big smiley face, a sun or some stickers if it is dry.

Put the paper up by the toilet or in the kitchen, and get your child to show it to daddy or an enthusiastic adult when they come around. If there is an accident say ‘oh dear never mind’; if they are dry make a huge fuss, talk about it and show people the chart.

LATE FAILURE

If your child was previously dry and then starts to have accidents it may be due to a urinary infection so get your GP to check the child as soon as possible.

See also urinary tract infections.