Welcome back to the world of the ADHD family - this is your privileged ‘peek’ into our lives and how ADHD affects each of us.

Noah (my 12 year old son with ADHD) has recently started to take more than a passing interest in his appearance. Previously his lithe form would remain proudly untouched by H2O for periods of up to two weeks.How do I know this ...“Bits!”

“Bits”, you ask - what are “Bits”?

Well, how can I put this, Bits have plagued us for the past 11 years. Almost since Noah could talk he has had a thing about “Bits”. Bits are anything smaller than your fingernail which reside on the carpet, in the bath or in the sink. There are lots in the car (but we won’t go into that). They are inanimate by-products of any normal family’s life, but Noah hates them. Ever since he could talk (“Bits” was one of his first words - he swears it was “boats” but I know better) he has had a fascination with them, when small he would pick them up off the carpet (to my horror in front of my very house-proud mother-in-law and other assorted company) and turn them around between thumb and forefinger examining them with admirable, (and never-to-be-repeated!!) levels of concentration and in minute detail.

“Bits” he would shout proudly holding the offending morsel up for all to peer at. Half the time we couldn’t see what he had squished between his tiny fingers; mother-in-law smiled indulgently. So, if Noah said there was a bit there, then there was.

The” Bits” pervade every aspect of our life - the obsession is rather less than at the toddler stage but the reason I know Noah hasn’t had a bath is because there are “Bits” in it. Alice, Buzz and I prefer showers but not Noah.

I do clean regularly but the “Bits” always return with a tenacity reminiscent of the creature in ‘Alien’ - teeth bared and clinging on for dear life despite a vigorous pounding with household cleaner and J-cloth. Sigourney Weaver could doubtless give me a few lessons in how to de-bit our home-planet but suffice it to say if there are “Bits” in the bath then Noah has not been within twelve miles of it.

The appearance thing took a turn for the worse recently, previously a few dollops of gel and a careful combing was all that was required before school but now it’s a little more complicated.

“I need some stuff mum.” (Typically elaborate and articulate request from Noah.)

“Yes love, what sort of stuff?” I enquired, knowing full well we were in for a full ten minutes of question and answer before we were to get to the bottom of “stuff”.

“You know, the stuff I usually use.” To reduce the boredom of our frustrating ten minutes of getting to the point I will cut out the next nine minutes which was punctuated with deep sighs (Noah), sharp intakes of breath (me) and regular eye-raising to heaven (guess who?).

Once we had determined that what Noah wanted was some more additions to his ‘male grooming kit’ we progressed to make, colour, consistency and volume of stuff required. The cost of this stuff would have amounted to some £15 if my extremely persistent and manipulative son had got his way – which, I hasten to add, he didn’t (see……I can coach my own son when I try).

“Well it wouldn’t cost so much if I didn’t have so much.”

“So much what love,” I enquired.

“You know.”

Here we go again.

“Hair.”

This coming from the head of a child of which even a Mohican would have been proud of.

Noah has beautiful blonde spiky hair which he wanted cutting, so cut it was (anything for peace - know what I mean).

That night he was quiet, TOO QUIET - I snuck upstairs and stifled my sniggers as I spied on him in the bathroom. Eventually I had to clutch my sides and sneak back downstairs to report back to Buzz in between tears of laughter. Noah, not satisfied with the hairdresser's valiant attempts to interpret Noah’s ideas for his bonce, had decided to take the scissors into his own hands.

His hair, previously carefully ‘quiffed’ at the front, was hardly more than stubble - he later said that he wanted it to “stick up more”. Well stick-up it did, the bristles which made up his hairline at the front gave him an admirable quiff and something for Buzz and I to giggle over for weeks afterwards as he carefully tried to gel, wax and prise it into position each morning! Such is the impulsivity of ADHD - they can’t wait, have to have it NOW and it also has to be done their way. This must have advantages in some aspects of Noah’s life but right now we’re just enjoying his hair at his expense.

He ain't got much of it, but it’s perfectly groomed!

Until next time,

Jan

Jan Assheton RGN RSCN is an Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) Coach and Learning Mentor and the mother of a child with ADHD. She will be sharing the benefits of her personal and professional experience every two weeks.

See Jan's book recommendations!

Read Jan's previous diary

Healing ADD: The Breakthrough Program That Allows You to See and Heal the 6 Types of ADD
by Dr. Daniel G. Amen

Jan describes this book as: "innovative & ground-breaking as well as informative, speaks truly from the heart as it is written by the father of two ADHD kids"