Tip One

When one child is driving you insane and the other is being a cutesy, angel pie, don’t say “Why can’t you be more like your brother or sister?”

Tip Two

‘It’s not fair’, screamed at top volume in your ear is difficult to respond to rationally, but it’s important you try. Children have feelings and they are allowed to have them; you must help them to recognise and deal with them.

Tip Three

When everyone comes to coo over the new baby, don’t let the visitors respond to the older child only in terms of the new sibling. For example – “Aren’t you a lucky boy to have such a lovely new sister?” is a common one.

Tip Four

“You don’t love me, you only love….” This breaks your heart. You could try collapsing in to floods of tears too. If not, love them a lot and make it better somehow.

Tip Five

Taking turns is a much easier concept for young children to take on board, rather than sharing. Sharing, as far as they are concerned, means handing the toy over forever. My turn and then your turn makes more sense.

Tip Six

Make them feel proud of things they are good at but don’t label your children, ie “This is Janie, she’s the pretty one.” Even if you think the labels you are giving them are positive, they are not. Your child will feel confined by them. Janie might not want to be pretty; she might want to be a brain surgeon.

Tip Seven

Taunting is a great game amongst siblings. I remember responding to my big sister’s taunts by pouring a jug of orange squash over her head. This has to be the most satisfying moment of my uneventful life. Try and recognise patterns of behaviour: when the taunting begins, divert their attention and stop it before it ends in tears.

Tip Eight

They’re in the car and it’s World War Three. You’ve nearly crashed and your blood is boiling. The noise level is so high you unconsciously reach for the volume control on the stereo and realise it won’t turn it down. I dream of installing a limousine-style glass partition. Play games, sing songs, join in with them, or they’ll fight for your attention.

Tip Nine

Jealousy really is a green-eyed monster and can be impossible to tame. But, if you help them to talk it through and find their own reasons for not being jealous, they will feel stronger and more confident as a result.

Tip Ten

You could take a degree in Child Psychology, go on a Parenting Course and have therapy. Take up meditation to help you to remain calm in moments of stress and read self-help books until you are blue in the face. We can’t be perfect parents as they can’t be perfect children. So my top tip is to tell them you love them as often as possible, without embarrassing them in front of their mates, and do your best - that’s got to be good enough.

Clare Kent writes ‘Life in the Slow Lane’ for Tigerchild.