SUMMERTIME, SUMMERTIME

Welcome back to the wild and wacky - sometimes surreal - world of the ADHD family. I can hardly believe the summer is almost upon us. “What summer?” I hear you cry - well, put it this way… “Summer” for me arrives when my ADHD son spends more time out of the house than in, when the screams of “Mum he’s spitting at me from the top of the stairs again” from my 7 year-old daughter become just a distant memory and I can actually spend time pondering. That’s what some of us ADHD mums yearn to do - just sit and ponder, maybe with a chilled glass of something light and bubbly in one hand, the sound of birdsong drifting in through the window - bliss, until that is Noah’s football comes crashing against the conservatory window or some other such distraction ruins the moment!

Summer also means exams, or the ‘E’ word as we sometimes call it. Noah, as those who are still with me will recall, is rather a bright child. Often ADHD kids are - they just can’t focus long enough or sit still long enough to communicate that to others around them! My son is rather “able” as the Educational Psychologist put it - he really doesn’t have to try that hard at school, and being of a rather lazy nature anyway this is great for him. Only problem is, the school doesn’t agree!! They are fully aware of his potential and just keep on pushing him to The Max. Noah, being Noah, resists for all his worth - he knows he can get passable marks without even trying so……why bother slogging his guts out like everyone else? Uh Huh - says the school - he can “do better” and “try harder”. Frankly (just between you and me and the rest of the world-wide-web, you understand) I’m on the side of the one with the brains/attitude here - he’s only twelve for goodness sake and they’re pitching his results against GCSE marks - honestly I ask you, talk about pressure.

Now don’t get me wrong, the school is an excellent example of traditional values and hard slog in the field of education. But they do, well… put rather a high store on good exam results - personally I think they could do a lot better by addressing such issues as Emotional Intelligence in pre-pubescent boys, and How To Recruit Teachers Who Haven’t Just Stepped Out of the Ark and can shoot a boy’s self esteem down in flames at twenty paces. But there you go you can’t (apparently) have well adjusted AND educationally high achieving young chaps coming out of the same establishment.

Well, my son - never being one for giving a pound when a penny will do - just sits back and takes it easy as you do when you don’t have a nagging harridan for a mother any longer. During ‘Revision Week’, rather than the instructed Three Hours Revision A Day (Phahhhh!) my little darling spent most of the week making a den on the field with his mate Matty; when he wasn’t doing that he was doing rather well on his new CD Rom (nuk’em-all-to-bits or some other such highly anarchic stuff) thank you very much. He spent all of two hours revising Religious Education (did you know that Mary gave birth to Jesus at the tender age of 14?) and did rather passably in all but maths - a family weakness you understand! As the mum of a 12 year-old with rampant ADHD, I have long given up when other mothers have persisted in trying to persuade their child to do something they’d rather not - I just don’t “Go There” any more as Noah would say. The effort, stress and commitment involved would tax the tenacity of a saint and I sure ain’t no saint as my son will readily testify.

So - what do we say to the teachers on parents evening? Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it although any suggestions will be gratefully received. For now there are far more important issues to be dealt with - forgive me as I must get back to my pondering - now where did I put that glass of wine?

Until next time,

Jan

Jan Assheton RGN RSCN is an Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) Coach and Learning Mentor and the mother of a child with ADHD. She will be sharing the benefits of her personal and professional experience every two weeks.