TEN REASONS FOR NOT KILLING YOURSELF WHEN YOU HIT FORTY(Apart from the obvious one that you don’t want to cause pain, sadness and grief to your family and friends.)
1. Men – all sorts of nice men talk to you again because they are safe in the knowledge that you know they are not trying to chat you up.
2. Nostalgia – you may not remember what you did last week but that blissful holiday in Malta when you were nineteen is vivid and fresh.
3. Clothes – no need to torment yourself if you’re fashionable any more, you’re just happy if clothes fit.
4. Children – as long as you’re not a late starter there are no more broken nights. Conversely if you’re feeling broody there is still time.
5. Shoes – despite the fact you need to take paracetemol when you wear high heels these days – your old ones are coming round again.
6. Face – suddenly the frown is permanent and the smile lines are not cute, they’re a matching pair – but fear not there is a whole world of creams out with just you in mind.
7. Pillows – where any pillow would do in the past, as long as it didn’t have a decapitated horse’s head on it – now you realise their importance and the range available is gratifying.
8. Gardening – oh, the joy. How come no one ever told me?
9. Further education – the decade of self-improvement has begun. Suddenly your social life doesn’t prevent you from attending night school.
10. Golf! No, sorry – I draw the line there.Life in the Slow Lane is written by Clare Kent. She has three children - Max is nearly eleven, Flo is nearly eight and Bobby is six and a half - and lives in Wiltshire.NEXT INSTALMENT: 5 FEBRUARY 2003Read Clare's previous diary
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