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1. This is crucial. Decide whether you are the kind of girl who needs all mod cons in a big organised campsite or whether you can go back to nature in a simpler one. 2. Embrace the throw away culture. Buy disposable everything. I particularly recommend paper plates. If you accept that your children will resent you for the rest of your lives you could make them wear paper pants. I’ll never forget the holiday spent wearing elastic with shredded j-cloth hanging from it. 3. Mosquito repellent is the single most important thing you need to pack. 4. Plastic shoes for everyone are also vital. This is because you’re going to spend the whole of your holiday peeing all over them. 5. How lovely, a campsite next to the beach. Nice if you like that crunchy feel in your sleeping bag. If you are near one, ban your children from your part of the tent. 6. Young children find camping so thrilling they can’t sleep, so have low expectations in that department. 7. If a caravan is the answer for you, establish early on who will empty the chemical loo. I suggest the fairest way is to toss a coin or draw straws. It doesn’t matter which game you choose, as long as you can cheat. You really don’t want to have that job. 8. If holidays are a time when you and your partner ‘rediscover’ each other, forget it, unless you’re the outdoorsy types already! 9. If you don’t take too many clothes, you won’t have that much to wash. No one will notice if your kids wear the same shorts every day for a week, least of all them. 10. These last items speak for themselves: Ear plugs, eye mask and a large bottle of gin.
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