THE MORNING ROUTINE

Aaaah bliss! The children have gone back to school and my life can return to some semblance of normality. Normality - did I really say that? Well what I mean is OUR normality. Our weekdays start for me at 6:45am. I stagger from the depths of an often-broken slumber and whack the alarm clock viciously over the head. My next task, every morning, is to locate Noah’s Ritalin - on school days we give him his medication before he even gets out of bed. Yes, it’s horrendous I know, but the alternative is not a pretty sight I assure you - before we stumbled on this little trick our house on school days resembled a miniature war zone.

Anyway, back to the Ritalin… I have to pick my way intrepidly across his bedroom floor (we get to see the carpet every 6-8 weeks or so when I can stand the mess no more) and pray I won’t break my neck on the sharp bits of some half-constructed “model” or some other such trap laying in wait for half-awake un-slippered feet.

Once I reach Noah’s loft bed I have to rouse him just enough to be able to turn his head in my direction andhis mouth, but not enough for him to realise that he could actually start his day at that very moment (heaven forbid) if he had the inclination.

You may have gathered by now that this ‘mission impossible’ is performed in the dark. Imagine the scene: child snoring gently in bed some eighteen inches from ceiling, half-asleep Norma Battyesque figure of a mother picking her way delicately through booby-trapped bedroom at 6.45 am clutching ‘life-saving’ medication (plus a cup of Ribena) in hand – I can almost hear the strains of ‘Mission Impossible’ as I write. I must be mad!

Anyway – Noah grunts, swallows his Ritalin and crashes his head back down onto the pillow for another 30 minutes. This is the length of time it takes for the medication to take effect. This is also the length of time I have to 1) rouse his six-year old sister Alice; 2) feed Alice; 3) make sure Alice is dressed and out of the way, safely ensconced in front of ‘Hey Arnold’; and 4) Enjoy some peace, quiet and tranquillity before you-know-who comes crashing down the stairs preceded by his (rather heavy) school holdall, hair gel, comb and then his cricket bat.

Once Noah has arrived downstairs things change completely – Ritalin has the effect of suppressing the appetite (it has been used in the States as a slimming treatment apparently) so a proper breakfast is never on the menu. A Yo-to-Go plus a handful of vitamin tablets is all I can get him to eat and this is usually as we are getting into the car.

I usually try to ensure that Noah has packed his school bag the night before and done his homework. This I do by the tried and trusted well-known ADHD coach’s “broken record tactic”: “Have you done your homework Noah?” “Yes, I think so.” “Noah are you sure you have done all your homework?” “Yes mum.” “Noah……” “Alright, Alright I’ll finish it then.”

So just as we are about to leave, just as he is carefully applying the third coating of gel to his already abnormally crisp hair, he gasps (hand to mouth in mock horror), “Oh no, I’ve forgotten to do my biology homework.” FORGOTTEN! This happens without fail and no matter what I do to try to get him organised (me being a coach and all!) he always outsmarts me! This child is my toughest challenge – I work with all ages and all levels of difficulty with ADHD but this child takes the biscuit.

As an ADHD coach, but also as a mum, I am a firm believer in Natural Consequences – “Forgotten” to do your homework means – Detention! Or as is more likely to happen – a hurriedly produced, rather wobbly biology homework on the school bus.

The problem with ADHD kids is that they fail to predict and learn from consequences, whereas most other 12 year old boys with biology homework would think, well……last time I didn’t do it I got a detention for messy work because I did it on the bus and mum threw a wobbler – so is it really worth it? But ADHD kids…Oh No – the next five minutes are far more important than what may happen at 9:45 on Wednesday morning - and hey – they might even get away with it (risk-takers too, did I tell you?) IN YOUR DREAMS MATEY!! Even if they never, ever get away with it – they just won’t recall it sufficiently to the front of their brains to really make an impact on their decision-making process.

Natural Consequences – works every time, except when mum takes her coach’s hat off, goes all soft and thinks “I can’t let him get another detention – it’s not really his fault after all… I’ll drive him to school and let him take the rap next time.”

Will I ever learn? I hope not.

Until next time,

Jan

Jan Assheton RGN RSCN is an Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) Coach and Learning Mentor and the mother of a child with ADHD. She will be sharing the benefits of her personal and professional experience every two weeks.