Christmas gets underway early in the West. Glossy magazines and colour supplements often put together their Christmas issues as early as July, in the full heat of summer, and the retail marketing drive begins in earnest with the first signs of autumn. Many are grateful to have the extra time to prepare for the festive season in general and the Big Day in particular, while others feel that Christmas has got completely out of control. The extended countdown certainly prolongs the period of waiting and wanting for children – and the pressures on their parents to make this the Christmas to beat all others.

So how do you go about shifting the emphasis and getting things back under control? The first step must be to try and manage children’s expectations of how things will be. The most obvious place to start: presents. The heady cocktail of advertising and peer pressure has turned the average Christmas list into a document of wild fantasy. What is more, children believe that their life will not be worth living without X must-have toy, gadget or whatever and are tortured by the belief that their friends will almost certainly receive it. The second point may be true but, as we all know, the first is not and that is the difficult message that parents need to try and get across.

Having said that, wish lists have their uses; they allow children to indulge their fantasies. The trick is to start the list early enough to show that passions fade and priorities change. Every time a desire is expressed it can go onto the list. If it is still there when Christmas (or a birthday) comes, then it is probably genuine and you – or another relative or godparent - can make the list-maker very happy by gratifying it. This approach also helps children to learn to wait for things that they really want.

Try sharing your own fantasy wish list with your offspring, so they learn that day-dreaming can be part of the fun. You both know that Santa is unlikely to be leaving the Ferrari on the doorstep, but exactly which colour it should be, or whether it should really be an Aston, can keep small boys amused for hours. Be sure to include some smaller items on your list that are within the reach of their pocket-money - just in case they are looking for hints!

Other useful reality checks include discussing the number and sort of presents children can expect to receive and establishing the idea that some gifts may be chosen to fulfil practical needs. If the time has come to replace an expensive item, such as a winter coat, there is no reason why this shouldn’t be seen as a special present to unwrap on Christmas Day. Most budgets are not limitless and there is no harm in letting children know this. It is also important to ask children what they plan to do for others, which they may not have thought about, and if you are lacking in inspiration, the web has plenty of ideas on offer. It can be as simple as making a Christmas card for a lonely relative or baking a cake for an elderly neighbour.

The other major source of pressure for parents in the run-up to Christmas is getting everything ready in time. Simplification and scaling down ambitions to fit the time available is the first step to making the holiday time enjoyable, sharing out tasks the next. Assuming you’ve managed to hold out on the tinsel up to this point, decorating the tree is a wonderful way of marking the beginning of the Christmas season in your household and a pleasurable ritual for children of all ages to be involved in. You may not end up with the perfectly dressed tree of the design magazines, but it is a small price to pay for keeping the family involved.

To get the ball rolling, print out this list of decorating tips and ideas for home-made ornaments. If you are looking for a healthy tree that will last the course, the British Christmas Tree Growers’ Association has a useful page of retail sites divided by region. The Forestry Commission also offers expert tips on how to choose and maintain your Christmas tree and a Christmas map to help your find your best local sources. You might also be inspired to follow their child-friendly instructions for making a woodland wreath for the front door.

Cooking is the other area that lends itself very well to delegation. Encourage junior cooks to prepare their favourite dish or meal for the home team or visiting guests in order to spread the load and assign smaller tasks such as cutting out pastry for mince pies, peeling potatoes and stirring the bread sauce to less experienced kitchen assistants. Table setting and clearing is an activity that should beto all ages and abilities. Creative offspring might relish the opportunity to decorate the table for a festive meal beginning, perhaps, these simple fragrant pomanders and fig/orange garlands, which can be made using ingredients found in most kitchens at this time of year.

The fact is that the most tedious chore can seem fun if you have help and company. Present wrapping is a good example. Tackled alone, it is a repetitive, endless task. But a communal present wrapping session that takes place close to Christmas can really add to the excitement. The cutting, folding and tying involved requires dexterity that is beyond some adults, so allocate jobs according to individual strengths. Last year’s Christmas cards can be recycled to make gift tags if you run short.

A final thought. As we approach the shortest day in the year, try to take advantage of the darker mornings to sleep a little later and gather your strength for the holiday period. It could make all the difference!

Claire Haggard